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Tomorrow will be the end of week two and I'm so hella excited.

I got my desk this afternoon. I can't wait to cheese it up with some friend pics and such. lol Canoistic Fury has a cubicle! lol

WHy am I so excited? hahahaha Idk.

Maybe because it's actually happening, you know? I'm finally doing something. It may not be much but it's something and it means something to me. I'm proud of myself. Yeah, that's what that is. I feel almost complete. Now all I need is a place of my own which is what this job will provide me and then some.

It may only be for 2 yrs but as far as I know, I'm the only bilingual person in that piece so...Maybe the future will hold better opportunities...Lord knows I deserve it.

I've been patient. I've put up with shit on top of shit. But it was all for the moment where I can pick myself up from the rubble and build what I could from there.

I may not be all the things I wanted to be and yes time does fly but I know myself more. I know what I can take. I see things more clearly and I don't care if I'm alone in life. Well not alone alone, I do have my friends. But people are so riled up on ending up alone. I'm not saying I'll be the crazy cat lady (I fucking hate cats...sorry cat likers!) I just don't hold couple-dom in high regard.

I don't want any kind of negativity in my life. I'm sorry loves who are going through things. No one really knows what you're going through except you. Others might understand but they'll never truly know. So work things out on your own, duckies. All you have is yourself and in the end you die whilst the world thrives.

I'm happy enough for the moment. All I want is to be left fucking alone. A niche of my own. I don't want drama. I don't want anything. I want to live, see more of the world, be amazed by places and things. Yes sir-ee. I'm happy enough. It might not be the grandiose of the grandiose. I just want a home that's mine.


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Jul. 31st, 2009 06:45 am (UTC)
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