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Pixi Regards...

Yeah I know what you mean. I feel gross and I definitely need to get the fuck out of this place like RIGHT NOW. I don't know what's worse, not feeling the home-yness of my mother's house, living with my mother, or living here?

I moved out of mom's place so that I could grow, do things on my own, not be pestered about going to school (something I care about but not ready yet to join at the moment). I too want my alone time, time to just sit in silence, have my own privacy (for once) and not worry or bother whether my music's too loud, or any other sounds coming from my room bothers anyone, whether it's farting, lovemaking, or the tv as I watch my porn...

I will have freedom.

You know that saying, or that cliche when people say they just want to leave the place they're at to just up and leave without a plan of what to do after? Well I say fuck that. I don't want to leave to just get my own place and wonder what's next. I could give a shit. I want to leave so that I know what true freedom is. Peace. I could care less if I go hungry or thirsty (which I know God will never let me go through because that's just who he/she/it is). As long as I have my own hole in the wall, I'll have my peace. I'll know what it's like to have your own things. Nothing would make me feel bad about my life, or the way I look. I will be Queen. I will never have to grab a piece of bread or a drink that wasn't for me. I'll never have to touch a man's dirty laundry in the hamper as I look for my own. I'll never have to cover myself up when I feel like walking around in my pj's, never hear the booming of a man's voice, never feel a male undertone as he demeans my sister or my nephew. Never Never NEVER feel stuck or obligated to do anything I don't want to do.

I will be free.